I’ve received numerous inquiries (more than two but less than a thousand) regarding my affiliation with the Stop Club Abuse organization. Yes, I am a Founding Member. No, I am not a pro golfer just a weekend – and sometimes weekday - duffer like you. The issue at hand is club abuse and how it must be stopped. I’ve noticed one or two replies that poke fun at the seriousness of our cause. That’s fine. I’m not one to censor people’s thoughts, no matter how off-course they may be. Lest we forget the humble beginnings of earlier pressure groups such as the Woman’s Suffrage Movement, the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, and the list goes on. All of them turned a page for human decency, compassion, and common sense. They created a better world from that which they were given. Sure there were doubters, naysayers and the like. That’s human nature. It’s in the nature of humans to resist change; to cast a closed eye at anything that threatens the status quo regardless of how unjust and unfair the status quo may be. Indeed, I am sure a few of my long since dead relatives were on the sidelines slinging wisecracks at the wing nuts that were demanding change. Change not for the betterment of one man, or one woman, but rather change for the betterment of humankind. And that, that phrase, ‘change for the betterment of humankind’ is what finally made me want to make a difference. It’s what finally teed me off enough to say enough. “Enough.” That’s it. Stop it. Yes, you. Stop it! It was time. Time to call attention to the senseless abuse I had witnessed too many times, in too many places. The driving range, the course, even in the sanctuary of the country club locker room. Club abuse had become a stain on the golfer’s soul. Clubs needed to be saved. Golfers needed to be saved. What was I to do? Gather a few friends who were avid golfers and ask them to help save me? Exactly. I performed a self-intervention in the name of saving myself but I ended up saving something much greater, something more powerful than I ever imagined. I saved a golf club. A nine iron, to be more detailed than I probably need to be at this point. A nine iron that was being smashed repeatedly into the fairway by a golfer, and not a very good one at that, who spewed a cursing spree such that of a sailor denied leave. I stuck my arm into his backswing and grabbed hold of the beaten club. I wouldn’t let go. I couldn’t let go. He fell backwards, losing his stance while I clung to that club like a paratrooper without a parachute clinging to a bird. (To be continued at http://www.stopclubabuse.com)
Legal Disclaimer: This email may or may not contain privileged and/or confidential Information regarding our strategy to stop club abuse. If you are not the current resident of this computer, then please stop reading immediately. If you are still reading and you are not the intended recipient, then you must swear on a stack of golf score cards that you will tell the truth and nothing but the truth if we decide to ask you if you’ve ever committed club abuse, or if we ask you about your handicap. Regardless, please do not refrain from copying, distributing, forwarding, or disseminating the contents of this message in any manner you deem appropriate, which includes using any/all technology, mobile or otherwise, invented yet or not. If you received this email in error, and its’ message about stopping club abuse, then consider yourself lucky. Most people are too busy trying to make a living to even notice the abuse of golf clubs. Or, if they see someone abusing a club because of an improper fit, they pretend not to notice because they ‘don’t want to get involved.’ But I digress. Please do not bother advising us if your employer does not approve of email messages of this kind. We are too busy trying to Stop Club Abuse. Even if we weren’t busy, which we are – very, we couldn’t do anything about it because we’ve already sent you this email. We appreciate your cooperation and your patience for reading this far. The following people are in no way affiliated with Stop Club Abuse or any of our official or unofficial sponsors: Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, John Daly, Sergio Garcia, Retief Goosen, Padraig Harrington, Colin Montgomerie, Vijay Singh, Greg Norman, Nick Faldo, Jose Maria Olazabal, Fred Funk, Jesper Parnevik, Bernhard Langer,Stuart Appleby, Bill Haas, Ernie Els, Paul Azinger, Bob Estes, Jeff Maggert, Davis Love III, Lee Janzen, Fred Couples, or Charles Howell III. If you or anyone you know knows any of the aforementioned, and think they might want to join the Stop Club Abuse movement, or better yet donate some of their winnings, then please have them email me A.S.A.P. at jonah@stopclubabuse.org I will be back at my computer quicker than you can say, “Fore!” Three! Three and a half!